He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
