Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm at about main and main street
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
