he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
