so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
