I will die if light touches me.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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