he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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