Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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