Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
