i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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