They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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