Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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