Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
