I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
