She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
