so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
