we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
