I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
smell my finger.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
