I just threw up on my dentist
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Randomize
