We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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