I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
