I think my vagina is haunted
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
