it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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