I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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