Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
