You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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