Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
