i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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