I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
