If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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