I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
