he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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