Dual....:-)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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