i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize