i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
