my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
