I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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