margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
