Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We don't watch enough power rangers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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