I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
