nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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