He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
