I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
