OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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