everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
