After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
