Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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