3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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