The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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