I bet he comes in French.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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