She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
