lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
