She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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