Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dignity is for republicans.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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