I'm going to jail i love you
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
