I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
