I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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