He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
