I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
