fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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