Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
