Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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