Im at strip club and am horny
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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