so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
