Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
