I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
