how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
