I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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