I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
